Is it that im confused or paranoid u tell me cause im lost?

i never told anyone this not even my family but i have social anxiety hate to be in any social situation come to find out that there are may gays in my family and they say it hereditary and thats what i get paranoid about i think people will think im gay and i even hear my family whispering about it when im not in the room and even people i never met before talkin about how im gay but the thing is i dont wanna be gay when i watch straight i get and when i watch gay i dont but for some odd reason i feel im gay but i cant explain it ive done may drugs such as LSD and MDMA i droped prolly like a sheet worth of acid(LSD) witch is like 100 hits and also i ate prolly like 160 some odd rolls e-pills so idk if im just a freak cause of the drugs or if that the hereditary property in my family is trying to break through but even if i was gay i wouldnt sleep with another guy cause i think its kinda gross but i would be depressed for the rest of my life cause of all the social pressure to be some one im not so im lost please help